Game On: Pelicans @ Thunder

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Published: November 18, 2015

Alright, I have good news and bad news.  The bad news is the Pelicans play again tonight.  Against the Thunder.  In OKC.  And Anthony Davis’ status is unknown.  And Cole, Evans, Pondexter, and Perkins are still out.  And Jrue won’t play.  And Asik was sick yesterday and so he was probably vomiting all over the place so if I were the Pelicans I would have banned him from the plane but  I don’t think they did, so the entire team is probably vomiting all over each other too, which is like me every time I look at the standings and oh my god what is happening to this season??!?!?!

Ahem.

And now you probably expect me to say there is no good news, but there is!  Tracey’s and BSS are hosting a watch party, and doesn’t everyone need some time to burn off some steam about this team by talking to like-minded fans while getting really, really, really, really soused?  If that sounds like you, attend the watch party!

Anyways, tonight there is no Jrue to battle Westbrook. (Words like “contain” or “slow” just don’t really apply here) so expect their explosive guard to put up a nice round 40-12-12 on our team.  In return, Eric Gordon will shoot a lot, Anderson will have to battle the athletic Serge Ibaka, and somehow we’ll need to scrape all the necessary offense and defense out of the following players:  Luke Babbitt, Dante Cunningham, Alonzo Gee, Ish Smith, Alexis Ajinca, Toney Douglas, and Turd McSandwich.  Delightful.

Keys to the Game:

  • Sign Madame Pomfrey away from Hogwarts
  • Sign the Mountain that Rides.  Keep Broadsword under the bench, in easy reach.
  • Kidnap Katniss Everdeen.  Tell her only one person leaves the court alive.  Figure out which four Pelicans are most expendable.

Enjoy the game!

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