Trew 2 the Game #21: How to get Anthony Davis Starting in the All-Star Game

Published: November 19, 2013

 This Tuesday, November 26th, we’ll be doing another live podcast at Little Gem Saloon before the Pelicans/Warriors game. 5:30-6:30p, come and say hi!


It’s a numbers game, this whole All-Star Weekend Starting 5. But it’s our All-Star Weekend and it’s our Anthony Davis we want starting and so it’s our responsibility to make our (his?) dreams come true. Let’s get to work.

First off, stop reading this right now and just go vote. If you’ve already voted, hold your iPhone 5 to your ear and say “Siri, remind me tomorrow to vote for Anthony Davis.” If you don’t have an iPhone, find the nearest pen and paper and write it down. If you don’t have an iPhone 5 also write down “purchase iPhone 5.”

Anthony Davis

If you work at an office, call a meeting with everyone as soon as you can where the first and last item on the agenda is “vote for Anthony Davis”. Make sure the middle items on the agenda are things like “free pizza” and “announcement: more vacation time.” If anyone in the office claims to not know who Anthony Davis is, then fire that person. If you don’t have the ability to fire anyone, then quit your job. That’s an extra 40 hours a week you have to devote to getting Anthony Davis into the All-Star Game.

Go to the library and vote on every computer. If there’s someone using the computer, tap them on the shoulder until they leave their station to confront you and have a friend quickly open a new browser tab and vote for Anthony Davis. Do this again every day until the library has a “do not allow this person in here” poster up in the lobby. Scratch out those words and replace them with “vote Anthony Davis into the All-Star Game please”. Do this at every library within 25 miles.

Hit the French Quarter with every device you’ve got. Set up a table with your tablet, your smart phone, your desktop, your laptop, all of it. Leave it at a table with specific instructions. “Please use these items to vote for Anthony Davis.” Hire someone to reset the IP address on each device after voting takes place. Make sure you are clear that these devices are to be used for All-Star Game voting only.

If you’re not up for any of the above, I suppose you could just attend games and cheer loudly. Perhaps a killer home court advantage and winning record would result in national media taking notice?


Chris Trew is a comedian living in New Orleans. He performs weekly at The New Movement. Trew 2 the Game is a weekly column and podcast. Follow him on Twitter here.


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