Let’s Replay Austin Rivers on First Take

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Published: May 24, 2013

Our boy Austin Rivers was on ESPN’s Argument Special First Take earlier this week and hot damn am I proud he’s a Pelican. Others would have defended the rebrand as well, but Austin fires back with a little touch of authority. Check the clip below and then let’s break it down.

The host says they were making fun of the name at the morning meeting (unprofessional!) and that she was surprised that Austin liked the name to which Skip Bayless says “Noooooooo” like someone asked him if he sleeps upside down. Stephen A. Smith says “how could you possibly justify that” which is pretty much like saying “isn’t New Orleans just everyone taking off their tops cause they want them plastic things so bad” (no, Stephen, that’s all the people who visit New Orleans, not people who live here).

When Austin gets to his reply, he leans in with one shoulder as if to say, “I know I’m right. I’m about to make you all look silly. Check out my lean.” Leaning while sitting is for people who know what they’re talking about.

Then this Stephen guy puts words in Austin’s mouth. “That’s something your daddy would say. Can’t change it, might as well love it.” But that’s not what Austin said – he said he likes the name, the colors, he likes all the changes. I’m starting to get mad now.

At :56 seconds Smith says “I got to actually cover the New Orleans Pelicans?” Well, Stephen, no you don’t. And no, you probably won’t.

As soon as this argument gets interesting and Rivers’ gets the upper hand (“What is a Clipper”) the host (probably) gets a signal from the producer to stop talking about this because it’s beginning to make sense. They go to commercial and most of the country is probably thinking “lol Pelicans man, birds are dumb”. Which is fine by me – y’all still don’t understand most of the things we love down here.

He said some other stuff too – audio is right here, friend.

Chris Trew is a New Orleans-based comedian who performs weekly at The New Movement. Follow him on Twitter here for jokes, basketball jokes and non-basketball jokes. Help him make a movie here. Listen to his New Orleans sports podcast Trew to the Game right here.

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