Tracking the T-Wolves – Saturday Night’s Main Event

Published: April 5, 2012

In this week’s edition of Hornets247’s weekly Tracking the T’Wolves series, Chris Trew goes solo (note: Mason has not been tossed through barber shop glass, he’s fine) and has some tips on what you can do this Saturday wherever you are.

This Saturday the Tumblewolves are visiting the Louisiana Seafood Hive Zatarain Arena Seasoned by Gary Chouest Hopefully and this, New Orleans, is a big deal. In a season spent mostly in the dark, damp basement eating beans and rice, this is like sitting outside with a wonderful looking lady/man feeding you Cochon Butcher Muffaletas which is easily the best Muffaleta in the history of sandwiches.

The Lakers are coming to town this Monday and that’s annoying for most diehard Hornet fans and if you’re TickTock6 or _mW (those guys hate the Fakers) it’s especially annoying. Then we have the Kings, Jazz and Grizzlies who are all kind of “whatever” type teams and it won’t have huge implications on that ping-pong thing people keep talking about around here. Then it’s the Rockets and that’s the last game of the season and that’s kind of cool.

My point is this – Us vs. The Tumblewolves is one of the last highlights we’ll have at home this season. This is like the January pay-per-view before Wrestlemania (The Royal Tumble). Yeah, the main event is still a ways away (the lottery), but this is a crucial point in how the lottery odds will end up (it was crucial that I used the word crucial just now to keep the drama high) and from time to time we need to get creative around here.

We should all be prepared so here’s some quick ideas on what you can do this Saturday for maximum tumbling besides bringing printouts of that one time (out of a couple of thousand) the ESPN Lottery Machine gave us Unibrow and MKG to hand out.

– Wear camouflage to the Arena and be real serious about it. Whenever anyone asks why say “Chris Trew made me do it”. Or…

– Wear gymnastic apparel to the Arena. Whenever anyone asks why just reply with “Mason Ginsberg made me do it”.

– Chant “Everyday I’m Tumbling” every single time the Wolves miss a shot but don’t do this if Carl Landry is scoring points because we don’t want to confused anyone.

– Chant “Two Top Tens” at the end of the game when the clock is winding down. This might be confusing to some people who don’t know how the lottery works but the worst thing that could happen is “Two Top Tens” will become a thing people chant all across the country and whaddaya know, it can all be traced right back to this paragraph.

Regardless of what you wear or chant, remember that this is your last chance to non-injury-inflicting-just-bad-luck-inflicting Voodoo hex the Tumblers in person. Maybe you should go to the actual Voodoo game the night before and pick up some moves. I’ll be there shouting along with “In! Com! Plete!” and harassing the PA announcer on Twitter between quarters where he actually responds to me.

Follow Chris Trew on Twitter, see his video campaign to coach the New Orleans Saints and peep his new web series,


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