Dunk That Sh!t: Divining Dell’s Deals, Landry’s Location, and Saints Silence?


Michael, Joe, and Jason answer three questions directly from the Hornets247 community.

Dunk That Sh!t comes to you every Friday with the Hornets247 writers turning their attention from the team to you, the Hornets247 community, answering questions directly and in dunktastic fashion. If you want the guys (and bloke, but I think he dunks up) dunk your question, just submit it to the editor at mcnamarahornets247@yahoo.com with the subject line “Dunk That Sh!t” or via twitter @hornets247 with hashtag #DunkThatSh!t.

1. @lweets / Twitter : “Over/Under 1.5 trades made by Dealer Dell before mid-March deadline?”

Michael McNamara: I will take this one because I have a soft spot for any question that gives me the itch to gamble. Remember, it is called gambling because there is inherent risk and because there is no way of accounting for all the possible factors that could cause the outcome to tip in either direction. So all you can do as a professional gambler is use all of the information at your disposal to find the best value for a given bet.

Taking the under on this bet would be sheer lunacy, as every piece of evidence points to AT LEAST two trades being made between now and the deadline. First off, how many guys still remain from the Hornets roster that Dell Demps inherited on July 22, 2010? If you said one (Emeka Okafor), then you are correct. Exhibit B would point you to the fact that the NBA has been back in business for a little over a month and Dell has already made three trades (two if you believe the mumbo jumbo about him being pushed aside in the Chris Paul deal). With two months to go before the trade deadline, synergy advanced GM stats project Dell to make six trades before the trade clock strikes midnight.

And the final piece of evidence is the roster. Dell Demps has valuable front court players who are either on expiring contracts (Landry and Kaman) or on deals that need to be cleared off the books(Okafor and Ariza). Teams always want size and defense heading into the postseason, and the Hornets will be the team to come to once March rolls around. Add in the fact that Jason Smith and Gustavo Ayon have shown that they are worthy of increased minutes, while Aminu simply needs the minutes to develop, and there is a high likelihood of Dealer Dell doing what he does best in the next two months. So, long story short, I’ll take the over.

2. @lil_too_serious/ Twitter : “Where is Carl Landry?”

Joe Gerrity: He’s on the bench, bra! Truly if you look at Landry’s numbers as a Hornet in the regular season last year vs this year, they’re nearly identical aside from shooting percentage. Sure he’s shooting a lower percentage (possibly as a result of small sample size, and the inadequacy of the Hornets offense so far), but across the board the rest of his numbers are pretty much the same.

3. Kevin Nitsch, Portland / Email : “Outta towner has a question if you guys don’t mind: Now that the Saints loss (sic), are people talking Hornets more in New Orleans? Will there be more butts in the seats?”

Jason Calmes: Dude! Oregon or Maine? I’ve been to both, but I do like the Oregon one more for a few reasons. Portlandia is on the to-do list, as well. I’ll share a Salvador Molly’s story with you in the comments if you reply . . . As far as Maine, goes . . . I had the chowder, and the chowder was good.

Let’s start and end with a picture:

Need a caption? Fine . . .

Christmas, hog’s head cheese, fleur-de-lis, unbidden.

This picture was taken at a Christmas party thrown by the family of the aforementioned friend. The fleur-de-lis is made of hog’s head cheese and was brought by a guest, not provided by the host. Yes, it is partially consumed.

If that doesn’t convey a 1000 word answer, I don’t know what does, but I’ll try to explain outside the context of a standard dunk.

It’s all Saints . . . or LSU Tigers. . . don’t forget them . . . I know the Ducks didn’t . . .

Example: I was at a krewe meeting for Knights of Nemesis Monday night with a guy who was literally draped head-to-toe in Hornets gear. Literally. Gold personalized 7 jersey with his name on it, creole blue pants, and more. Mark was talking Hornets to me. The two of us were talking Hornets. Not his kid, my friend for over 20 years . . . just him and me.

Every other piece of sports talk was the Saints loss or LSU loss, and I’m being as liberal as possible here with the use of “talk.” It was screaming, yelling, wailing, coaching, quarterbacking, and more. Gregg Williams, the Saints defensive coordinator until then, had just taken a job with the Rams, and still people were talking the game . . . not the future.

This is the part of the Dunk where I get a little self indulgent . . . maybe I’m almost dunking, but then circling around under, not touching the net, to complete the play . . . something just for me . . .

I hate the Rams. I hate them. You think I hate Dallas . . . Mavs or Cowboys . . . well, I hate the Rams. I hate the Rams. There aren’t words. I know many words in many languages, and I don’t know the word. I hate the Rams more than any other team in any sport. The Rams and Enos can just . . . take a leap. Restraint . . . It’s Roman-Carthagian hatred. Hate.

Ok.

Example: So it’s Thursday as I write this, and people are still dissecting both losses and the surrounding events. Yesterday, I look a late lunch, and as I ate in my car, I had Gerry V on the radio. He’s the analyst on the Hornets radio broadcast, along with play-by-play man, the ever-pleasant non-Rams-fan Sean Kelley, for the out-of-listening area folks, like Kevin. Gerry was still talking Saints on his show. His new show on 106.1 weekdays at 4:00 (looking out for you, V) is on a new sports station (Fox Sports . . . hmmm . . .), and the show is not just about the Hornets, but I think that is emblematic. That dude cashes checks from the Hornets, and he’s talking Saints.

They are just now talking Spagnuolo.

People will get over it and start to come eventually. Over time, it will be less dependent on recent play, but for now it is.

The Saints and the Tigers are special here. Sacred. It’s religious. Things blend here. Just picture going to church, but church is a football game, a concert, and a restaurant packed with friends you don’t know. During Mardi Gras. Exaggeration? License? I saw nuns, real nuns, a more than one game this year.

Nuns.

Nuns.

They stayed through the final whistle.

Some people only love one of the two. Some both. Some believe the one winning affects the other’s ability to win negatively. Others believe the opposite. Some believe it’s a choice. Others know it’s special and have room for more in the their lives.

Take me: I love the Saints. Going to the Super Bowl had a deep, positive effect on my psychology. Yet, I still can’t write for Saints247 (looking out for you, Joe) . . . too much passion. The Saints are just as much a part of my life as my pancreas. I can live without it, but only with advanced technology and an additional prick of pain when partaking of the sweetness.

Clearly, I love the Hornets. They just aren’t there yet.

And that is just fine. It’s ok. We have time, which is something we haven’t had in so very long.

Dunk That Sh!t is a weekly piece that you can find every Friday only on Hornets247.com. Click here to browse through the series.


11 responses to “Dunk That Sh!t: Divining Dell’s Deals, Landry’s Location, and Saints Silence?”

  1. WTF happened to Carl Landry? He was doing so well, but then just disappeared. I think it primarily has to do with Monty Williams shifting the lineups all the time. Gotta give props to Jason Smith. he has a boss game against Houston, although it ended in a loss.

    I’m sure NOH won’t be resigning Carl Landry after this season if his poor play continues.

  2. I can’t tell . . . if this . . . is some new modern writing style?

    Or just . . .

    bad writing.

    Can’t tell! Me. This guy. Befuddled . . .

    Stumped!

    • It’s a choice. Not new, not old. Ellipses are very old.

      Also, as far as style goes:

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellipsis

      Excerpts:

      An ellipsis can also be used to indicate an unfinished thought or, at the end of a sentence, a trailing off into silence (aposiopesis). It can also be used at the end of a sentence to emphasize a statement. When placed at the beginning or end of a sentence, the ellipsis can also inspire a feeling of melancholy or longing. The ellipsis calls for a slight pause in speech or any other form of text, but it is incorrect to use ellipses solely to indicate a pause in speech.

      An ellipsis may also imply an unstated alternative indicated by context. For example, when Count Dracula says “I never drink … wine”, the implication is that he does drink something else.

      In reported speech, the ellipsis is sometimes used to represent an intentional silence, perhaps indicating irritation, dismay, shock or disgust. This usage is more common amongst younger, Internet-savvy generations.

      In poetry, this is used to highlight sarcasm or make the reader think about the last points in the poem. “This is a Happy Warrior, This is he…”

      As far as bad writing goes . . . 4.0 throughout completion of my English dergee. See, that was emphasis. I could still be a horrible writer, admittedly.

      I’m sorry the style detracted from your enjoyment of the content. I hope Joe and Mike made up for the lost time.

      • I’m glad you found an article that completely supports my choices. Good of you to grow in that way.

        Taken from the intro:

        In the field of linguistics, a sentence is an expression in natural language. It is often defined as a grammatical unit consisting of one or more words that bear minimal syntactic relation to the words that precede or follow it. A sentence can include words grouped meaningfully to express a statement, question, exclamation, request, command or suggestion.

        A sentence can also be defined in orthographic terms alone, i.e. as simply that which is contained between a capital letter and a full stop. This is arguably more accurate than definitions which conflate orthography and grammar, given the variety of structures which are possible between the capital letter and a full stop. For instance, the opening of Charles Dickens’ well known novel, Bleak House, begins with the following three sentences:

        London. Michaelmas term lately over, and the Lord Chancellor sitting in Lincoln’s Inn Hall. Implacable November weather.

        The first sentence involves one single word, a proper noun. The second sentence has only a non-finite verb. The third is a single nominal group. Only an orthographic definition can hope to encompass this variation.

        As with all language expressions, sentences may contain both function and content words, and contain properties distinct to natural language, such as characteristic intonation and timing patterns.

        Sentences are generally characterized in most languages by the presence of a finite verb, e.g. “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog”.

        Most people would just skim the surface of your comment and perhaps think it sarcastic. No. It’s not. It fully supports my choices. Clearly, you are familiar with Noam Chomsky, his tranformation grammar, and hidden Markov models of language. Also, that of his student Pinker who discusses the biological and sociological influence on language development, both as an institution and in each being gifted with language.

        Clearly, we are one of mind on these points. Wonderful.

        Glad to have you here at Hornets247.

        So, what did you think of the article?

  3. hey everyone ive been a long time 247 stalker lol thought i would throw a comment out there finally . ive seen some trade ideas on this board and HR ive noticed ( not sure how official) that Beasley for Okafor and Kamen for Smith have been thrown out there i know there would be filler pieces involved but what does everyone think of this talk about head cases but montys strongest attribute is getting the youngsters on the straight and narrow

    sg gordon
    sf smith
    pf beasley

    i think thats a formidalbe line up i know im missing the other 7-8 players i just dont know who would be coming and going to make the numbers work.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.