How the Hornets will beat the Lakers

Published: April 17, 2011

Last night I had a dream. I woke up all sweaty and started crunching numbers. I researched all of my favorite Hornet websites.  Game tape was downloaded, watched, broken down and analyzed. After I analyzed and broke down the tape I throughly dissected it.  
Here’s what I believe could happen.

Game 1Willie Green goes 18 -for-18, Emeka scores 20 points and grabs 20 rebounds (and rests for the entire 4th quarter) while Chris Paul leads the way with a quadruple-double. Hornets 100 Lakers 73. Hornets lead series 1-0.
Game 2Lakers read this blog post and discover that the key to winning basketball games is to not only break down and analyze game tape, but you have to also dissect it. They win 98-96 but during the celebration Ron Artest steps on Andrew Bynum’s knee, breaking both Ron’s foot and Bynum’s knee. Doctors later discover that the foot and knee are not only broken, but the bones are not at 100% and are probably broken. Series tied 1-1.
Game 3The Hornets production crew flips the script. Now fans at the Hive don’t sit down until the Lakers score and remarkably, everyone is on their feet midway through the 2nd quarter where the Hornets lead 32-0. Before the game started it was revealed that Kobe Bryant has chicken pox. I mean, he has a lot of chicken pox. Like, too many of them. Hornets win 97-12. Hornets lead series 2-1.
Game 4Close game all game long. Patrick Ewing Jr. gets the call in the end and he drains a finger roll at the buzzer. Hornets win 92-91. Hornets lead series 3-1. 
Game 5Tie game, 5 seconds left, Hornets ball. During an ABC “In the Coach’s Huddle” segment we see Monty drawing up a pick and roll and he tells Chris Paul, “I want you to feed Landry the ball the same way you would feed Mr. West.” Chris Paul says “But Monty. Why don’t I just feed West?” Everyone looks confused. Jason Smith takes a tiny sip of G. David West then prances out of the locker room and enters the game. Pick and roll, West shoots, he scores, buzzer buzzes, Hornets win 95-93. Hornets win series 4-1. 
The FutureHornets over Dallas in 4 in the Semi’s. Hornets over Grizzlies in 4 in the Western Conference Finals. Hornets over Pacers in 8 in the Finals. 
Please let me know how much you agree with me in the comments below.

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