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Remembering Graham McQueen
Sometimes this non-job is fun. Sometimes it’s a chore. Sometimes you have to do something no one could ever pay you enough to do . . . which is where the no money thing really kind of gets you twice.
It’s been a little over a day since we lost one of our own: Graham McQueen. Graham was from New Orleans and went to Oberlin for College where he studied a thing. Everyone at the Feve loved him, even after the time he cried after trying to eat one of the “masochistic” buffalo chicken (I tried it before, it’s quite hot). He loved basketball of course, and he even played that kicky version.
The beginning of the end was an after-hours observation about the Pelicans. Graham (@grahammcqueen) sent:
Solomon Hill, at 34.8%, is the 95 ranked forward out of 246 for 3pt%
— Graham McQueen (@GrahamMcQueen) July 19, 2017
Thing went fine for a bit . . .
So what you're saying is he's not the worse SF in the league? Twitter would argue this point.
— Phil (@UnclePhil88) July 19, 2017
Until perhaps it went too far . . .
I bet Graham is a worse small forward.
— 42, Ph.D. (@42PhD) July 19, 2017
I will officially start training today and challenge @solohill a year from now to prove my worth
— Graham McQueen (@GrahamMcQueen) July 19, 2017
I need to buy a basketball
— Graham McQueen (@GrahamMcQueen) July 19, 2017
Then it was over:
You're wasting your time and I wasted my time typing this reply to you.
— Solomon Hill (@solohill) July 19, 2017
Details for services will be leaked via Graham’s agent.
Some words that might or might not be true from people who might or might not be people:
42:
I almost feel responsible. Graham was complimenting Mr. Hill… who looks very nice today, whatever day it is… And it spiraled out of control when I said Graham was a worse small forward. He vowed at that moment to dedicate a year of his short life to becoming a short forward. It consumed him in short order. He didn’t work, eat, sleep, anything for nearly 2 short hours except train. He even considered buying a basketball. Then, it was over. Just, wham. You always think there is one more quarter or one more timeout with your teammates. It’s not true, man. It’s not true. I will always remember Graham as the little forward who could, and I will always think: “Solomon Hill looks nice today.” Short.
Graham McQueen:
His candle burned on both ends
For BourbonStreetShots so bright.
Alas he was taken from us,
On twitter last night.
Another victim to Solomon Hill,
Whose twitter-skill paid the bill.
On his deathbed he lay, too beaten to fight,
his last words to us, were #takeflight
Michael Pellissier:
Death is so whimsical. Every day, someone dies far before his or her time, far before his or her journey is complete. Their deaths reinforce the cruel nature of chance and we feel their unfulfilled potential as they depart from this world. Today is not that sort of day. If anything, I wish Graham had been taken sooner, but for today, I will fall asleep knowing that justice has finally been served.
Andrew Smith:
Graham was taken from us much too soon in this tragic event. His only goal was to not only become a better small forward than Solomon Hill, but to be the smallest forward in the NBA. His basketball knowledge was supreme and could only be topped by his ability to tweet, but as good as his twitter skills were, they were no match for @SoloHill who took him out in one swoop. All of our parents told us that words couldn’t hurt us, but in the case of the late Graham McQueen, @SoloHill‘s 14 words were enough to kill. Alas, everyone should not only use this time to mourn but also use it as a reminder that at any time and any place you too can be taken from this world by @SoloHill. Rest in Peace Graham.
(To Dr. and Mrs. McQueen, and everyone else: Graham is not dead.)