A Set of Pelicans Basketball Cards Lied to Me

Published: September 9, 2014

I’ve held my breath for far too long. The basketball off season is far too long. It’s time to unleash the truth. The truth is that the Pelicans Basketball Card Pack offered by the Pelicans team store inside the Smoothie King Center duped me. Was it the pack itself that did the duping? Was it the person that organized these cards in this specific order that tricked me? Is it the team’s fault that something this sneaky sneaked past the merchandise guardians? I don’t have all the answers. All I have are these basketball cards pretending to be New Orleans Pelicans inaugural season basketball cards.


Facts derived from the wrapping on this pack include the price ($10), the amount of cards (50), and what is inside (Pelicans History Pack). The only visible card without unwrapping the pack is the Ryan Anderson one pictured above. Facts derived from the Ryan Anderson card pictured above include that this is definitely a photoshop (look at his face), so this is therefore not a real photograph taken during a game (that basketball is definitely being bounced in a media day green screen type of way), and aw man did I just get bamboozled (keep reading).



This is the second card in the bunch. It’s a minor reach as Austin Rivers played for both the New Orleans Hornets and the New Orleans Pelicans. Didn’t think much of this one, though. I can live with a former Hornet and current Pelican in my Pelicans History 50 card pack. It being the second card in the bunch gave me caution. I wouldn’t scoff at a Hornets card in the back half of the deck. But the second? I included the wrapping on this picture to hammer home the point that what I purchased was a “Pelicans History Pack.”



Hello, Peja. Hello under-appreciated yellow third jersey. Hello…OKC patch? Okay, for the third card in my Pelicans 50 card history pack I get Peja Stojakovic setting himself up for a shot in which he has a 45% chance of making. That’s great. I really enjoyed those years we had a marksman like #16. Those years our guys had to wear that OKC patch? That’s not a fun memory. I’m not sitting over here on my merchandise high horse trying to customize my own pack of cards, I get that’s not how it works. But so far my Pelicans History Pack has one Pelican, one Hornet, and one Hornet wearing an OKC patch. This is progressive de-heightening. It’s getting worse.



These cards are together to represent the only batch of the pack that ever laced up in New Orleans. Austin Rivers, Desmond Mason, Ryan Anderson, Baron Davis, Peja Stojakovic, and Tyson Chandler. A hair over 8% of my Pelicans 50 card History Pack actually played basketball in New Orleans. Some of them also played for the Charlotte Hornets and some of them also played for the Oklahoma City Hornets. I understand that New Orleans basketball history is confusing, but this pack’s lineup is really shoving it my face. Let’s go to the last slide, class.


Now, I can admit – part of the reason I purchased this “Pelicans History Pack” is that I was curious what was considered Pelicans History. I didn’t think there was going to be a Shoeless Joe Jackson card in the bunch but I also didn’t think there would be a bunch of North Carolinians. I definitely didn’t think they would outscore New Orleanians 44-6.  Imagine on opening day in Charlotte this year you purchase a “The Buzz is Back” Trading Card set. You open the set and you see Chris Paul in a Hornets jersey, Emeka Okafor in a Hornets jersey, and then Emeka Okafor in a Bobcats jersey. This shouldn’t have been called a Pelicans History Pack. This should have been called “Inventory Clearance Pack #1.”


Chris Trew is a comedian, pro wrestling manager and Pelicans season ticket holder. His podcast, Trew 2 the Game, has new episodes every Tuesday and is available on Stitcher and iTunes. Follow him on Twitter here.



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