What happened to our Community Slogan of I"M IN with the Pelicans. Seems like the Team parted from the City.
Trew 2 the Game #30: I’m Taking Over the Pelicans Scoop
The powers-that-be let me take over the Pelicans Scoop this week so after I cooked up the questions, I asked some comedy pals (Chris Carrington, Bob Murrell and Adam Wilson) to answer. Site contributor and Aussie James Grayson snuck in as well. Enjoy!
1. With the 5th pick in the 2014 NBA Draft, the New Orleans Pelicans select _______ who averages _______ leading the Pelicans to _______ in 2014-15 and everybody is _______.
Chris Carrington: Julius Randle (I picked him at random after a couple of runs of the draft machine failed to produce a top 5 pick for the pelicans). 6 frustrated 76er fans a night. a 7th or 8th seed. Pretty chill with the results.
Bob Murrell: Rodney Hood, 2 steals a game , no respect at all, watching this video on loop.
James Grayson: Dante Exum, 2 shrimps on the barbie, Australia, drinking Fosters.
Adam Wilson: Doug McDermott, 101% from the free throw line, a First Round Game 7 loss to Golden State, leaving they umbrella at home cause it’s rainin’ white power forwards.
2. Let’s say this franchise is actually cursed and you, only you, have the ability to reverse said curse. How do you go about doing so?
Chris Carrington: I guess I go up to my anti-curse machine and set it to reverse.
Bob Murrell: Subjecting myself to being stung by 2014 Hornets while in Charlotte, as I, Bob, am dressed as a cat.
James Grayson: Some kind of voodoo ritual is obvious here. I would nail four stakes into the top of the Arena’s roof and I would tie both my hands and feet to them as I’m spread out like a star fish. The pre-game camera would pan out over and see me there for every single one of our games until I’m hit by lightning and the curse is reversed.
Adam Wilson: I lace up my Reebok Shaqnosis and alert Dell Demps that his worries are over and that I am available.
3. The Eastern Conference All-Stars are throwing a party during All-Star Weekend. Across the street is the Western Conference All-Star party. Which side is throwing the better party?
Chris Carrington: Eastern Conference. Without a doubt JR Smith somehow snuck in and you know that guy can throw down.
Bob Murrell: Ain’t no party like a Western Conference All-Star party because a Western Conference All-Star party has this.
James Grayson: Eastern Conference. I’m quite sure that Lebron knows how to throw a better party than Durant or Kevin freakin’ Love.
Adam Wilson: Western Conference. Warriors shooting guard Stephen Curry has a great relationship with his mother Sonya, who, by the way, is a FOX, and I suspect that he would bring her to the party, and I would like to treat her to a tasty beverage while she and I discuss the pros and cons of rearing a child through a montessori education and whatever else comes to mind. #upforwhatever
4. What is Dell Demps’ favorite snack and how many phone calls is he making a day?
Chris Carrington: Demps’ favorite snack has to be fruit chews. The only part of the Lakers deal that Stern didn’t kill was Demps getting a lifetime supply of Mambas. Demps is probably making 87 phone calls a day. One to each team about Eric Gordon and then 2 more to each team pretending to be GMs from other teams to drive up the price of Eric Gordon.
Bob Murrell: “Dealer” Dell likes chips. Poker chips aren’t really edible, but he likes stacks of chips, so I’m going with Pringles. According to Taquitos.net, there’s quite a selection, so I’m thinking Dell is making around 2 phone calls a day to Taquitos asking which flavors are still in circulation.
James Grayson:– I mean it has to be Sour Warheads right? Anyone who thinks Greg Steimsma is the answer at center has to be eating these. He’s making one phone call and it’s to David Stern as Demps cries over how to change a rule to get rid of Eric Gordon. He makes this call EVERY DAY.
Adam Wilson: Tostitos scoops with extra hot Tostitos salsa. He eats too much of this. Its high sodium content plus extra spices send him to the bathroom virtually all day, preventing him from making the call to Idaho Stampede head coach Mike Peck and telling him to send Pierre Jackson to New Orleans and bring his Air Maxes with him. So I guess Dell Demps makes one call too few each day.
5. Wrestlemania is coming to New Orleans this April. Give me your best professional wrestler/Pelicans comparison.
Chris Carrington: Austin Rivers playing is like the time that Disco Inferno almost joined the NWO Wolfpac. I know its not the best angle, but I am excited about the possibility of what might actually happen if they let it play out. I just hope it doesn’t end with Austin Rivers losing to Konan at Spring Stampede.
Bob Murrell: Ryan Anderson/Jeff Hardy, only because after Ryno sinks a three, I want him to hold up Jeff Hardy’s hand-sign-thing
James Grayson: Oh this is an easy one. Greg Steimsma/The Shockmaster. If anyone needs a reference as to who the Shockmaster is… here’s your video.
Adam Wilson: Mike Rotunda. He started out in WWF as a pretty decent wrestler and half of the US Express along with Barry Windham, and they were tag champs for a bit. Then, just as the Hornets left New Orleans for Oklahoma City for a while, only to return and change their name to something that most outsiders didn’t really like, Rotunda left WWF for WCW only to return and change his name to Irwin R. Schyster, a name that nobody on earth liked, ever.
Thanks to Chris, Bob, James and Adam for playing along. See you next Tuesday!