Trew 2 the Game #13: The Elephant in the Practice Facility

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Published: September 24, 2013
TrewToTheGame

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Last week the Pelicans gave a lucky bunch a tour of the crisp, shiny new practice facility. There’s a beautiful court plush with beautiful new logos that we should all still be in love with. The exterior is sharp and will give those who pass by 5800 Airline Drive goosebumps. The locker rooms appear to be cozy. There’s also a barber’s chair. A barber’s chair. Like in a barbershop. We have got to talk about this barber’s chair.

Dell Chair

Watch the video here, I promise there’s a barber’s chair. There’s also the photo above. That should be proof enough that there is, in fact, a barber’s chair at the New Orleans Pelicans practice facility. Now that we’re on the same page, I’ve got some questions.

Tom Benson believes this is the finest facility in the NBA. Was it his idea? If so, are there barber chairs in his home? His car? Is Benson Tower secretly one big barbershop? If it wasn’t his idea then who’s was it? How did they convince everyone else to go along with this? I’m all in favor of the chair I just know that it wasn’t an easy process to make it happen. Unless it was Benson’s idea. Was it Benson’s idea?

Will the Saints have access to the barber’s chair? If so, who will spend the most time in the chair? What happens if Drew Brees is looking for a trim at the same time as Anthony Davis? Will there eventually be two barber’s chairs in the building? Will the Saints demand to have their own? Are the Saints jealous? Are we sure that this won’t kickstart an inner city rivalry that will lead to the teams pranking each other in the cafeteria?

This is the second largest practice facility in the NBA. Does the first largest have more than one barber’s chair? Is that too many barber’s chairs? What is the average amount of chairs in a barbershop? Will the Pelicans practice facility eventually also have a nail salon?

Who will be cutting the hair? Is this now the most sought-after barber job in the city? The state? What is the application process like for this? How much experience do you need to cut hair for the Pelicans? Is Rob Nice going to take this job too?

My Truehoop colleague Jason Calmes wrote this extensive piece on this very site about the practice facility. He only mentioned the barber’s chair four times. Does Jason Calmes take issue with grooming? Will Jason Calmes ever allow his hair to be cut in this chair?

Will a classic barbershop window ever be installed? Will an incident like the above ever happen?

Jokes aside, we’ve come a long way. Remember the articles like this one from Woj? A clip -

The Hornets have plans for a new practice facility, but currently play in a dumpy community center best suited for the bird and reptile shows that cover most of its calendar.

If the rumors that season ticket holders can grab a seat at select practices are true then you better get on the phone right now and make the call. These are the days, my friend. Enjoy them.

Chris Trew is a New Orleans based comedian. Follow Trew 2 the Game on Twitter. See him perform this Friday at 9:00p and 10:30p or Saturday at 9:00 and 10:30p. All four shows at The New Movement, the homebase for Nola Comedy.

 

4 comments
Pelican Poster
Pelican Poster

I enjoy the change of pace, especially during the slow season...

Is there a reason why the barber's chair is black?  What about Navy with the Pelicans Symbol? Is this a link to the Saints that you mentioned?  Was there a fleur de lis on it originally that was covered up somehow with that leather/vinyl magic you see on TV?  Could this be the Saints chair that was just shined up and brought over?  Why do the Saints get a new chair and not the Pels?  Will the Pels always be the red-headed stepchild of the Saints, or maybe just their "little brothers"?  Will the chair be used by the Saintsations and Tail Feathers, thereby making players want to utilize as much of the 24hrs a day in the gym that they can?  Will there be a Langiappe points option to utilize the chair for lucky fans wanting a haircut while they watch their favorite team practice?  Will additional Langiappe points also include deep tissue massages with the haircuts by the dance team member of your choice before taking a picture with them?

_CoachD
_CoachD

If you stopped writing, I'd be a happy man. These are terrible man. They've gotten worse and worse. 0-13. You're like the Tampa Bay Bucs.

mateor
mateor

The players have to keep it high and tight...people got HD nowadays.

Caffeinedisaster
Caffeinedisaster

WWF reference = priceless.

I too wondered about them only having 1 chair.