Trew 2 the Game #11: It’s All About Jrue

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Published: September 10, 2013
TrewToTheGame

Trew 2 the Game appears every single Tuesday exclusively on Bourbon Street Shots. If you like what you see spread the word – Facebook likes, tweets (@Trew2TheGame) and comments are welcome and appreciated. On to the fun stuff.

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Wow, Summer was weird, right? No more running into Greivis Vasquez bashfully shopping at the Whole Foods on Magazine Street. Robin Lopez’s Instagram feed – un-followed. Al Farouq-Aminu’s Instagram feed – re-followed. Tyreke Evans was pursued the second he was legally allowed to be. The weirdest one to me is that the first player born in the 90’s to play in the NBA is our new floor general. It’s unlikely Jrue was aware of these songs when they were fresh (being a kid and all) but in honor of our fresh faced All-Star, here’s something to learn from 90’s music.

You get what you give, Jrue. Take a cue from the other Drew who, upon signing a free agent contract in N.O., immediately started four charities and opened a Jimmy John’s. About five days later he won a Superbowl and to celebrate he invented Mardi Gras. That’s Drew Brees riding that horse in front of the Drew Brees Cathedral in the Drew Quarter.

We don’t need you to be Drew Brees, but we’d like you to take a cue from #9. New Orleans is the Golden Rule city – treat it the way you want to be treated. Do your job passionately and you’ll be embraced here. And if you end up opening a sandwich shop just make sure it’s a local one.

Conservative estimates have us at 10-4 in the month of November. But it’s entirely possible the the Pels will be on such a roll that we’ll flatten San Antonio and Golden State so the most optimistic should have us entering the biggest shopping day of the year at 15-0. Jrue, we need you to be Slash in the November Rain video. We need you to walk outside the church (take matters into your own hands) with your guitar (basketball) and despite the incoming weather, (unfamiliar surroundings) shred the most memorable 45 seconds of guitar the 90’s ever saw (have a good field goal percentage and distribute the ball well).

According to the California Love video, the year 2095 in Oakland is chaotic and sand gets everywhere. We’ve had sand in our point guard shoe for a while now and we’re excited to dig our heels into a long term solution. We think that’s you, Jrue. Maybe you’re Dr. Dre, constantly on the lookout for new talent and giving them a framework to succeed in. Or maybe you’re 2pac and you’re going to just do whatever you want because your work ethic will be unmatched. Maybe Ryan Anderson is Snoop and Eric Gordon is Warren G? I’ve taken this analogy far enough, help me complete it in the comments.

Honorable Mentions
The Breeders “Cannonball”: great nickname for a point guard who attacks the rim. Make it happen, Mr. Holiday.

The Cure “Friday I’m in Love”: The Hive Deck will likely be at it’s most at capacity on Friday night. This is when you turn it on the most, Jrue. With Mr. Benson and the rebrand we expect many people testing the Pelican waters. Give them something to fall in love with.

House of Pain “Jump Around”: Just kidding. Let’s not play this song in arenas anymore.

Eminem: “My Name Is”: When you were traded here, some people tooted the “he made the All-Star Team” horn. Others responded with the “Yeah, but Derrick Rose was injured” horn. When you make the All-Star team this year (and the next and the next and the…) it will be because your debut in New Orleans was so strong and memorable that nobody forgot your name.

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Last Sunday night while most of you were watching Bar Rescue re-runs, Tyreke Evans was hard at work falling in love with the Crescent City at his Virgo Birthday Bash Celebration Kiss New Orleans Keeping it Sexy Sundays Sunday Night New Orleans. He tweeted that it was “Free all night” but this page had tickets for sale at one point. Also spotted was the most intense dress code I’ve ever heard. That dress code, by the way, was reason #1 that this column wasn’t just a slideshow of me dancing on tables and practicing secret handshakes with our new #1 Pelican (calm down it’s just a jersey number). Want to keep me out of your party? Enforce a dress code of any sort. Want to get me to your party? Just let me where whatever I want. So, Tyreke, by next year we’ll be best friends and I’ll be chillin in the corner at the Eiffel Society tweeting in a baby pool.

Chris Trew is a comedian living in New Orleans. He’s performing this week in New Orleans (Tuesday, 8:30p Howlin’ Wolf Den, Free) and Austin (Friday, 9:00p, 10:30p and Saturday 10:30p at The New Movement, $5). Follow him on Twitter.

2 comments
mateor
mateor

My memory of the November Rain video was that it starts raining and then the Mafia came by and machine-gunned everyone to pieces.

My childhood brain refused to acknowledge something so lame as she was running away from the sprinkle and broke her neck on...what, her bridal train?

RafaBrazil
RafaBrazil

Nice piece! Great songs too! Despite being born in 1990 too, I'm very familiar with all of these! Keep it up and let's hope Jrue plays at all-star level for a long time in NOLA!

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