How the Hornets can take down the Lakers…

Published: April 15, 2011

There was a guy named Jeff Gillooly.  Maybe you remember him from the Tonya Harding thing.  We need him and his lead pipe.  A little lovetap to Gasol’s leg should do the trick.


But seriously…….it could be a steel pipe.  Any pipe will do!


But SERIOUSLY….all hope is not lost.  The first thing we must do is catch them sleeping in Game 1.  Andrew Bynum may not play, and if he does, he may be a little shaky on his knee.  It messes with your mind to have a knee injury.  He won’t be the dominant force he was at the end of the season.  Okafor needs to step up and use his superior quickness to make Bynum move laterally as much as possible.  Test the knee.  Cut fast to the hoop. Move with purpose.  And Aaron Gray needs to come in and be stronger than he’s ever been, and make him work. 


I think Monty may even opt to start Okafor and Gray together.  Go big.  Use Mbenga for extra fouls (looking at you Aaron Gray).  Emeka on Pau.  Use that strength Emeka!  Pau is soft – bump him all day.  Monty is a Spurs vet – he is telling everybody to be as physical as possible – bump everybody.  Gang rebound.  Get nasty.  Start Landry at the 3 against Ron Ron.  Post him up.  Get him in foul trouble.


As for Kobe, I think Bellinelli should play him straight up to start.  Let Kobe shoot as many threes as he wants.  Even if he starts making them at first, it always seems to turn out poorly for the Lakers in the end.  His team checks out.  If he really gets nuclear, switch Ariza on him.  Keep changing it up on Kobe, with Belly, The Green Hornet and Ariza.  Keep him guessing so he can’t get in a rhythm or get to the hoop.


If we can start crazy strong and steal game 1 then we have a solid chance.  We probably lose game 2, unless Bynum goes down again (don’t rule that out – shaky knees!).


Game 3 we have to take.  The Hive will be rockin.  Follow the game plan.  take Gasol out of the game by letting Kobe go into gunner mode.  The Lakers will be in full scramble mode by then.  Kobe will be calling all of his teammates f@gg&ts.  Luke Walton will come in the game.  Hornets take 2 at the Hive.


Lakers take game 5 with their backs against the wall.  For game 6, David West shows up on crutches, and they show him on the jumbotron.  The crowd goes nuts.  Chris Paul elbows Derek Fisher in the stomach and goes off for 30-15-10.  Hornets win in 6 with a rockin sellout of 18,500 plus!  Phil retires in a puddle of shame.


Geaux Hornets!  See ya’ll at game 4. 


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