While most NBA fans seem to be beaming with glee over the new Christmas day uniforms revealed earlier today, this NBA fan is putting his stocking down. These uniforms do not capture the Christmas day spirit. They are part of the “Season’s Greetings” collection and I don’t feel welcome. At all. What was Adam Silver, or should I say The Grinch, thinking?

As a first class Christmas lover, the first thing that stands out to me is the lack of a reindeer. There’s a lot of reindeer to choose from and the NBA could have replaced each team’s mascot with the appropriate reindeer. The Rockets could become The Comets and I’m sure others make just as much sense. If your counter-point is that there’s only 8 reindeer and there’s 10 teams playing on Christmas day, then my response to you is “who is going to watch that Laker game?”

Perhaps the biggest blown lay-up of this whole debacle is the missing nicknames. Or should I say missing “St. Nick-names”? I should, because that’s a great idea. Every NBA player that suits up on December 25th should have their favorite holiday character’s name stitched on the back. Derrick Rose is Jack Frost. Anthony Davis is Mr. Bingle. Tristan Thompson is Krampus. Kobe Bryant is Old Man Winter.

That’s not the only way the NBA can make this up to Christmas purists such as myself. They make the referees wear Santa Claus costumes and the ball becomes a jingle bell. Anything else would be a lump of coal in the stocking of my NBA fandom.

Chris Trew is a comedian and Pelicans season ticket holder. See him perform weekly at The New Movement, your favorite place for New Orleans comedy. Listen to his basketball/comedy podcast, Trew 2 the Game.

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