Trew 2 the Game #28: Snowed In: A Short Story

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Published: January 7, 2014
TrewToTheGame

After the Pelicans were knocked around by the Indiana Pacers, the team had to catch a flight to Miami. No big deal, really, just two of the best teams in the league, one after the other, on the road. A couple of days of stress-free rest oughta do the trick. Hollllld up, wait-a-min-ute.

It was reported that first the runway had too much snow, then the plane couldn’t get de-iced, then a giant winter storm came through and then mechanical problems showed up. Hey mechanical problems, what were you thinking? We’re dealing with snow issues here, we don’t have time for mechanical problems. If the Heat beat the Pels by more than 8.5 points (Vegas line), I’m blaming mechanical problems.

Finally the team arrived last night. In the middle of the BCS Championship Game. The Pelicans weren’t even able to watch the final game of the BCS era! You may be thinking there’s wi-fi on planes now but have you seen the prices? They are ridiculous. No way anyone actually uses that. If the Heat out-rebound the Pelicans tomorrow night I’m blaming absurd wi-fi prices on planes. How else is Alexis Ajinca supposed to watch Chris Anderson tapes?

You’re right, he’d probably just watch this on repeat…

…then laugh that French laugh so loud that Anthony Davis comes running from the back of the plane (disregarding all seatbelt signs) to take it in. Anthony Davis was playing point guard in kindergarten when this dunk contest took place so he’s never seen the footage. Eric Gordon overhears everything and is all, “I got next video” and shares his dunk contest experience with row 2, seats A & B.

“Hello? You guys awake?” wondered Gordon.

They are not. So he plugs his headphones in and cues up his favorite video of all time.

“It doesn’t snow in Phoenix” whispers Eric Gordon. To himself.

Chris Trew is a New Orleans-based comedian who writes about New Orleans sports a lot. Read his column here every Tuesday and follow him on Twitter here. He’s performing this weekend at The New Movement (1919 Burgundy) on Saturday night at 7:30, 9:00 and 10:30p.