Pelicans remain undefeated in Pre-Season, striking fear into the hearts of all

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Published: October 9, 2013

“Terrified!” James said, when asked about the Pelicans untarnished dominance in Pre-season.  “I mean, we’re the champs, but have you seen those guys play?”

“I wish I was still in New Orleans.” Birdman Andersen broke in from across the room.  “Playing next to Anthony Davis . . . wow!  He’s almost averaging a point a minute!   You know who has never managed that?  LeBron James.”

As James hung his head in shame, the veteran mercenary Ray Allen removed the stub of his cigar from his mouth and nodded knowingly, “Them guys.  They’s tuff.  I been in some real scraps man, but those cats?  I wouldn’t tangle with them even if I had a fi’ty cal and a ban-do-leer fulla grenades.”

With the Heat trembling in the Eastern Conference, one wonders who exactly in the West could stand up to the new powerhouse Pelicans.  Speaking from the Grizzlies locker room, a worried-looking Marc Gasol frowned, “We’ll grit and grind them.  Madre de Dios!  How do you even catch Davis?  I’m just glad I’ll guard Stiemsma.  I’ll be able to grind all over that guy.”  The explosion of mirth from the big Spaniard’s teammates at his poor understanding of English idiom was welcome and almost hysterical.  The grim tension gripping the room whenever the Pelicans come up was nearly palpable.

Another potential Western Conference rival, Chris Paul of the LA Clippers, merely looked sad when asked about the Pelicans.  “I’m happy for New Orleans, you know?  I never wanted to leave.  And now?”  Paul broke off, rubbing at his nose.  When he looked up, his eyes were bright. “Well, I got Lob City, right?  Blake – he can dunk!  And DeAndre . . . oh god!  I have to play with DeAndre!  Why?  Why!  Tyson, where are you?”

The general consternation at the Pelicans monster winning streak was summed up best by a member of the Suns front office who spoke on condition of anonymity.  “I’m just glad we’re tanking already.  Why even try the next few years?  Hell, I should probably start trading my 2014 picks for 2018 picks.  I mean, what’s the point with those guys out there?”

Only time will tell if any team in the NBA will be able to bring an end to this stretch of unnatural brilliance by the Boys from the Bayou.

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  • Yeah.  Unbeaten!  Pre-season is a little absurd.  Hard to figure out what’s real and what isn’t.  So, I decided to go with a partially absurd recap!  Hope you enjoyed it. 🙂
  • Holiday’s turnover woes continued.  Tonight  Oladipo showed why I loved him so much as he picked Jrue clean three times.   Happily, Holiday was also connecting nicely with Davis.  As they grow together, they are going to be deadly.
  • Austin Rivers and Anderson had a nice pick and pop going.
  • Functioning primarily as point guard, Rivers did a solid job despite some shooting woes.  He even managed to drill two big free throws to help stave off a surge by the Magic.  That’s right, I said Austin Rivers hit some free throws.  Take a moment.
  • Davis dominated a six minute stretch of the third quarter, drawing and hitting nine free throws and throwing down two dunks and getting a putback.  Nicholson and Maxiell didn’t have a hope against him.  The only thing that stopped him was Monty putting him on the bench.
  • That stretch in the third gave the Pelicans the margin needed to withstand a spirited come back by the Magic triggered by Vucevic, who simply had his way with Lance Thomas and Onuaku. (It started the moment the starters went to the bench with an 11 point lead and 4 minutes to go)
  • Monty refused to put his big guns back in and after Thomas fouled out made a line-up of Withey, Onoaku, Morrow, Rivers and Roberts gut it out.  In the end, holding on to a 2-point lead, they snagged four straight offensive rebounds, burned another 30 seconds of clock and forced the Magic to start fouling.  They then iced it with six straight free throws.

The Pelicans don’t play again until Sunday.  I’m chomping at the bit for October 30th.

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