Trew 2 the Game #10: Pelicans > Falcons

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Published: September 3, 2013

Welcome to the 10th installment of Trew 2 the Game. Remember, likes, shares and comments are welcome. We’ll be here every single Tuesday!

The NBA’s feet are firmly planted in the dark days of no-news-land while NFL heads are gearing up for their kickoff. You can feel the basketball blogs reaching for content. This one, however, knows exactly where it’s going. As the Saints prepare for the Falcons (and likely the biggest New Orleans sports event of the year) this weekend, let’s peek inside their football culture and apply it to our Pels. Even the greatest bird of all can learn something from the weakest one, right?

(The top 5 New Orleans sports events of 2013, by the way?

#5. The final Hornets (home) game in New Orleans
#4. The Superbowl
#3. The press conference revealing the Pelicans rebrand
#2. The first ever Pelicans home game
#1. The first home game of the post-“bounty” New Orleans Saints

As a basketball head I’d love to switch #2 and #1 – but we all know what kind of town New Orleans is. If the bounty scandal had never happened that switch would be justified. Sean Payton’s return to the dome seals the deal.

Honorable mention goes to the Wrestlemania 30 press conference.)

How can the Pelicans prove to be a superior bird to the Falcons?

#1: Take the “Dirty Bird” dance from them and make it better

Remember how New Orleans just took a very popular song from a very popular rap group that was definitely from Atlanta? We turned “Stand Up and Get Crunk” into a New Orleans song. (Let’s temporarily ignore the fact that we have plenty of amazing rappers from New Orleans who would be perfect to create the official celebration anthem) We said “we like the way that song sounds and we’re just gonna claim it as ours.” What if we also took the Dirty Bird from the Falcons? Evans steals the ball, hits Holiday on the fast break who lobs it to AD23. Fans stand and do the Dirty Bird.

It would need to better than this one, of course.

#2. Take “Rise Up” too

“Rise Up” is a decent hype slogan (R.I.P. “I’m In”) but when paired with a team who has a questionable fan base, it’s more awkward than a 2010 Dwight Howard stat line against Aaron Gray. What if the Pelicans took “Rise Up” and made it the new “I’m In”? Within a week New Orleans would swear that we did it first while Atlanta would probably just replace it with “Wings All Around” or “Feather Time”.

#3. Score more than 2 points in a playoff game

Will the Pelicans make the playoffs in year one? Maybe, if the Timberwolves, Blazers and Nuggets all decide they’d rather not. If the Pelicans make the playoffs this year will they score more than 2 points? I can 100% guarantee that yes, they will score more than 2 points. If you’re thinking right now that points in the NFL are much harder to earn than they are in the NBA then you’d be right. But if you’re gonna try and convince me that the Falcons scoring only 2 points in that playoff game against the Giants isn’t hilarious then I’d rather you not.

Pelicans 106, Falcons 3 (Saints 27, Falcons 17)

Chris Trew is a comedian and producer of the Nola Comedy Festival Hell Yes Fest which released its lineup last weekend. See him weekly at The New Movement, 1919 Burgundy.

6 Comments

  1. Caffeinedisaster

    September 3, 2013 at 11:59 am

    I was worried about the “dirty bird” mascot comparisons when we took on the Pelicans name.
    But Pelicans are so awesome.
    (leaves BSS to watch videos of Pelicans eating ducklings for the 101st time)

  2. Pelican Poster

    September 3, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    Way to keep us going Trew!  Agreed that the dirty birds just don’t have a chance against our bad-boy, carnivorous Pelican:
    -Pelicans can grow up to 30lbs with an empty beak!
    -Pelicans ancestry goes back 30 milliion years…likely when they were swooping in to grab baby lochness monsters..Ffalcons less than 10 million (little infant babies in comparison)
    -Speaking of baby Falcons..did you know what they are called?  EYASSES..need I say more (http://www.raptorresource.org/facts.htm)
    -Pelicans were plunge diving well before artists were diving off of stages into mosh pits, too. Sure Falcons can plunge, but they’re not going to do so UNDERWATER!
    I’m guessing our Pelican mascot is going to need one helluva gullett/gusett to chomp people up at the games!
    Trew, you need to do a Pelican You Tube skit in the manner of the Honey Badger…(“Look at that crazy Pelican…he just doen’t give a S***!” …you’ll get a bazillion hits so just remember I get some royalties on it.
    Pelicans rule!

  3. Pelican Poster

    September 3, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    Way to keep us going Trew!  Agreed that the dirty birds just don’t have a chance against our bad-boy, carnivorous Pelican:
    -Pelicans can grow up to 30lbs with an empty beak!
    -Pelicans ancestry goes back 30 milliion years…likely when they were swooping in to grab baby lochness monsters..Ffalcons less than 10 million (little infant babies in comparison)
    -Speaking of baby Falcons..did you know what they are called?  EYASSES..need I say more (http://www.raptorresource.org/facts.htm)
    -Pelicans were plunge diving well before artists were diving off of stages into mosh pits, too. Sure Falcons can plunge, but they’re not going to do so UNDERWATER!
    I’m guessing our Pelican mascot is going to need one helluva gullett/gusett to chomp people up at the games!
    Trew, you need to do a Pelican You Tube skit in the manner of the Honey Badger…(“Look at that crazy Pelican…he just doen’t give a S***!” …you’ll get a bazillion hits so just remember I get some royalties on it.
    Pelicans rule!

  4. mateor

    September 4, 2013 at 11:15 am

    WHEN DOES THE DAMN BASKETBALL SEASON START? JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH

  5. Pingback: Managing Interest in the New Orleans Pelicans | New Orleans Pelicans News

  6. GerryV

    September 9, 2013 at 8:34 pm

    Good stuff you wild and crazy guy! I enjoy your work…keep it up.

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