Your Guide to Fighting the Pelican Hate

Published: January 25, 2013

Our resident rebrand therapist, local comedian Chris Trew, coaches on how to fight the Pelican hate and takes us through his journey on Twitter the day of the announcement in the latest Trew to the Game.

January 24th, 2013, the day the Pelican flew into New Orleans, Louisiana, inspiring most of the natives, annoying some, infuriating some more and igniting ignorance throughout major media. Let’s go through what happened yesterday and try to make some sense of it.

Oh boy. What a disaster this segment was, huh? Herm Edwards was so fired up he stopped what he was doing (desperately sending resumes to the CFL) and interrupted poor Antonio Davis. His primary reason for not liking the new name appeared to be “man, tha Superbowl is comin, they gotta do betta dan dat” which is not a good rebuttal for anything besides maybe “let’s convert all downtown restaurants into Arby’s” or “let’s schedule a Voodoo game for early February 3rd”.

Then they do my least favorite argument against the Pels which is “it sounds weird when you say it” and then they say it all weird. Bulls also sounds weird is you pronounce all slow and whisper-y. Booowls. Pretend like you’re whispering it to a sleepy child. Bewls. Chicago Bowls – see it sounds weird. Chicago BULLS – see, Bulls is a great name! Man, so many Bulls in the windy city. Bulls love wind.

Herm says we can do better because we have the Saints. Look, we love the Saints. But if our football team was called the Brass and then we tried to name a basketball team the Saints we’d be hearing the same reasons why the team name isn’t any good. When hearing the colors they’re all “red, blue and gold? That’s like putting a gold chain on a pelican.” No, it’s not. Also, what’s wrong with a gold chain on a Pelican. Sounds like a pretty cool Pelican.

Goodnight, Herm. You tried your best. Sorry we’re not named the New Orleans Herm Edwards’.

On to the logos

Not everyone is down with the “bird-de-lis” but let me talk you into it.

– You knew a fleur-de-lis was coming. We needed it. Is this the best possible way to do it? I don’t know. But pelicans definitely look tough when looking at you eye to eye and that’s what this one is doing.

– It had to be a pelican head – not wings – because wings could be hawks or blue jays or ravens or worse, falcons (yuck).

– It’s eating a basketball. You know who else eats basketballs? Nobody. Toughness.

– “Bird-de-lis” is a little weird right now, I’ll admit it. But at least a Pelican is a bird. Reminder, Hornets are not bees. What else could they have done? Fleur-de-bird? Fleur-bird-lis? Bird-de-bird? Fleur-de-P?

Strap in. Let’s take a look at the good and the bad from Twitter (some bad words here, kids)

First off, props to Chase for being the leaker of the day. All of his favorite sports writers should be thanking him, RTing him, Fav-ing him, etc.

One more time for Chase!

This is the graphic designer behind the logo. Some simple research shows he’s a –gasp– Grizzly fan! I wish there was some way to win him over.

That was easy. New Orleans is so charming. Side note on the “Let’s go Pels” chant that was forced at the press conference: What else were they supposed to do? Sit back and wait to see what would happen? No, you start making Pels sound less weird as soon as possible and I’m already on board.

This was the general consensus amongst outside fans. I opened up two search columns on Tweetdeck. One was “pelicans suck” and the other was “pelicans cool”. Both were equally active, though non New Orleans folks are still confused by the name Pelicans as if they think the team got in a room and said “what name is awesome, oh Pelicans, good enough, bye” as opposed to “what name is significant to this city?”

I can admit that this is pretty funny. I can also admit that this will get less funny in about 10 days.

I know, right? If Jay Z designed this logo the Pelican would have been just sitting there looking all bored and possibly a robot. “Plus the letter “P” standing there by itself would have been so bad. P? What’s that even mean? The letter P isn’t intimidating. P? Are you kidding me?”  Thank you, I’m Herm Edwards.

Amen, brother. 2014 All Star Game drinks on me, Scott Allen Hill.

Then you’re going to be rocking the most culturally significant NBA logo 24 hours a day 7 days a week. You’ll be the most popular guy in the bar in 2015 (NBA Finals).

Try “I’m already in line” sucka! Plus in 15 years I’ll be sporting my “A better dynasty than the Spurs” gear that has so many O’Brien trophies on it the shirt goes down to your ankles no matter the size.

Yeah, good idea. New Orleans shouldn’t put the words New and Orleans on things. Also, quit bringing up your log, man. Not cool.

“Racist owner? #I’mRollin”

Yeah, Chris Paul left because he knew the Pelican rebrand was coming. Also, he just left. Walked out the door on his accord. He wasn’t traded. Side note, I engaged the author of this tweet and he’s a Lakers fan who’s from New Orleans. So there you go, case closed.

I am furious I didn’t come up with this already. Dangit.

Good point, Shiek.

The video

It may be a little too Animal Planet for some but it gets the job done. Show this video to anyone who says “why Pelicans?” You may not like the name Pelicans but the question of “why” is ridiculous. 44 bonus points to the team for tying the name into raising awareness of coastal restoration too.

In Closing

It’s hard being the President of Pelican Nation but I take the job seriously. I welcome all debates. I will lead us all into the comfy Nest/Dock/Pier. If there is someone on your Twitter feed being all nonsense about the name then send them my way. I’ll come into your work, bring a meat and cheese plate and sit down to have a one-on-one with that person in your office who doesn’t get it. I’ll go on First Take. I’ll have a debate brunch with Chris Paul (but not his brother). I’ve got your back, my fellow Pelicans.

Spread your wings and fly!

Follow Chris Trew on Twitter, catch him performing comedy at the House of Blues on January 31st at 8:00p or The New Movement on February 1st at 10:30p. 


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