Kentucky Should Adopt the Hornets

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Published: July 20, 2012

Our resident comedian lobbies for Kentucky basketball fans to officially adopt the Hornets.

Guess what is still on my DVR? (Please ignore Best Pillow Ever)

You guys, it happened. We got Anthony Davis! Did you forget? Nobody here at Hornets247 has forgotten – Michael McNamara takes naps with a Skynet doll. Joe Gerrity is steady composing poetry and begging us to go see him at open mics. Mason Ginsberg and Jake Madison are going to be a unibrow for Halloween and they spend their afternoons in the 247 offices knitting and sewing. Ryan Schwan named his dog Anthony and his other dog Davis. James Grayson is commuting to New Orleans from Australia for every home game. Jason Calmes is still Jason Calmes (which is weird enough) but man he talks about #23 a lot. Andrew Smith just films everything.

Here’s what I’m thinking. This team is going to be 2/12th’s Kentucky so New Orleans sports fans, it’s time for us to be okay with being okay with a rival SEC school. They do the basketball thing and LSU is mainly about the football thing so this shouldn’t be difficult. What I’m proposing is that we formally ask Kentucky to adopt us as their NBA city. They are the basketball loving parents who are more than happy with their college basketball (child by birth) but maybe it’s time to take on a younger brother in the form of NBA basketball. Why not spice up your life with a little New Orleans?

According to In The N.O. (which you should rate and review on iTunes, if you haven’t already), Anthony Davis is a can’t miss All-Star, a potential Hall of Famer and the most important man of all time. That automatically rates him above Sam Bowie, Antoine Walker and Ron Mercer on the Best-Kentucky-to-NBA list right? After his first blocked shot that lands in the hands of a streaking Austin Rivers he’s going to be ranked above Jamal Mashburn, Tony Delk, Rex Chapman and Jamaal Magloire as the best Wildcat turned Hornet of all time, yeah? And can’t we just pretend he’s already better than Rajon Rondo, John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins? And who is Chuck Hayes?

It’s a 12 hour 747 mile drive from Lexington to New Orleans. The Grizzlies, Hawks, Bulls, Cavs, Bobcats, Pistons, Raptors, Bucks, Wizards, Blue Jackets and Pacers are all better geographically situated to be your team but they don’t have Anthony Davis. I didn’t include the Nets or Knicks because parking would be outrageous and totally not worth your time. I included the Columbus Blue Jackets because I just feel bad for them. Toronto is nearly two hundred miles closer than New Orleans but borders are yucky. However, thave poutine so it’s a draw. But they don’t have Anthony Davis!

Remember how much fun you had on April 2nd 2012? Wanna do that again? I’ve even gone so far as to create this petition. We’ll make commercials for you too. Just give us a list of Lexington Celebrities and we’ll record them saying They’re In! You can even have the Saints (Titans? Blech) too. As a bonus we’ll forget that this ever happened. Kentucky, come on down!

Consider this a formal invitation to adopt New Orleans as your NBA city. We want you, you miss Anthony Davis, let’s be friends. Do you like us? Circle Yes or No in the comments.

Follow Chris Trew on Twitter and check out his New Orleans comedy theater.

33 Comments

  1. Josh

    July 20, 2012 at 11:13 am

    I would welcome any fan, not just Kentucky fans to be a part of the Hornets.

  2. Snow

    July 20, 2012 at 11:30 am

    Great article for sure! I’d accept them even though they are an LSU rival, why not? Hornets need all the support they can get! Btw I signed the petition!

  3. mako

    July 20, 2012 at 11:48 am

    Well, I can’t speak for all citizens but I’M IN… since 1993
    Bielsko-Biala, Poland
    I’d like to see the president of B-B saying he’s in 😀

  4. Gary Walker

    July 20, 2012 at 11:51 am

    I still have the lottery on my dvr.

  5. nolakid21

    July 20, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    I grew up in Slidell and lived in Lexington for five years, attending Lafayette High School. All my friends are going to watch the Hornets and root for them because they love Darius Miller. Miller was really a huge fan favorite of the city. They like Davis too, but Miller is a god in Lexington.

    • catlanta1

      July 23, 2012 at 9:32 am

      Born in N.O., raised in Versailles. I’ve got jerseys on pre-order. I’m in.

  6. coach44

    July 20, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    In the immortal words of Sgt. Hulka, “Lighten up, Francis.” If you can’t handle a silly, lighthearted article by Trew, don’t go anywhere near The New Orleans Levee (the best newspaper in the city.)

  7. Uptown Sammy

    July 20, 2012 at 1:43 pm

    that is the weirdest grouping of shows i have seen on a DVR box.

    gone with the wind and impact wrestling…FTW

  8. toledotorpedo

    July 20, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    maybe we could use them…Lowe of SI wrote today that the Hornets may be unprofitable. I’d think Benson would find a way to break even, just on hype and ticket sales plus tv/nba money.

    • Jason Calmes

      July 20, 2012 at 2:05 pm

      Got a link to the Lowe thing? I’d like ot take a look at it.

      The revenue sharing thing is going to help, but Stern said we’d likely not need it. It’s all about sponsorships since the TV deal didn’t create a windfall. Naming rights will help.

      People need to lay off attendance.

      • Jason Calmes

        July 20, 2012 at 4:20 pm

        http://nba-point-forward.si.com/2012/07/20/rule-changes-coming/

        last few paragraphs, including:

        “And according to Stern, a majority of the five unprofitable clubs will be so by choice, meaning they will authorize some temporary overspending in pursuit of a title (or some other goal). One presumes that a couple of small-market clubs — Memphis, Sacramento and New Orleans — may struggle to turn a profit for involuntary reasons.”

        This is a quip. I see nothing to make me think this is a result of any research into the matter.

      • toledotorpedo

        July 20, 2012 at 5:35 pm

        Yes, that’s the article. Just an off hand bottom of the bullet points thing. But why write it, unless it’s one of the ‘given’ type rumors with no thought. Why publish that?

        Should I use my day off to try to find figures for Hornets profits?

      • Jason Calmes

        July 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

        I don’t know why write it, but I wouldn’t sweat any profit numbers for at least 2 years.

        Here’s why: Benson changes everything, winning changes everything. One already happened, but we need to see the effects. The other is going to start happening.

        I wouldn’t look for the numbers.

        At some point I’m going to take the `old’ Hornets financials that were leaked and sort of update them to create a picture of the current team’s state.

        Also, and this is just me, check the math. He references 5 unprofitable clubs, and a majority of them will be unprofitable voluntarily. Then quotes three that might be so unvoluntarily. Can’t have both.

        It’s just a casual remark. No insult on Lowe, and he’s not putting the stink on us. He’s just writing off the cuff.

        We’ll change the perception and those things will minimize.

  9. Pingback: Comedian lobbies for Kentucky basketball fans to officially adopt the Hornets | Walter's Wildcat World

  10. Pingback: Hornets formally invite Kentucky fans to adopt New Orleans as their NBA city | NBACATS.com

  11. Banloo

    July 20, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    Our “leader” is offending a lot of people with his tweets.

    • Jason Calmes

      July 20, 2012 at 3:02 pm

      who?

      • Banloo

        July 20, 2012 at 8:16 pm

        Ej, has posted pictures of half naked women and retweeted derogatory comments.

      • Jason Calmes

        July 20, 2012 at 10:17 pm

        Ah. Thanks.

  12. Ron

    July 20, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    There’s a lot I can forgive, but pro wrestling isn’t one of them.

    • Jason Calmes

      July 20, 2012 at 4:29 pm

      You like the fake college stuff, eh?

      • mazonmafia

        July 21, 2012 at 2:05 am

        Dude, you’re insulting college wrestling while trying to recruit fans from the midwest?? Major fail

      • Jason Calmes

        July 21, 2012 at 3:42 am

        It’s clearly a joke, and KY is not the midwes from where I sit.

        Loosen up.

      • mazonmafia

        July 21, 2012 at 8:54 pm

        I got your joke but I was jesting as well… Sarcasm doesn’t always work so well in writing… But dont let it happen again. (sarcasm of course)

      • Jason Calmes

        July 21, 2012 at 9:37 pm

        You took my advice . . . back in time . . . love it.

        It’s cool. Things have been edgy lately . . . thank goodness for the offseason.

  13. J

    July 20, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    What a buch of commies on here deleting peoples comments.

    • Jason Calmes

      July 20, 2012 at 5:17 pm

      What a buch of commies on here deleting peoples comments . . . that they were left up with a note that the FAAAR-off-topic conversation should stop or it would be deleted . . . and it didn’t stop so it was deleted, my warning included.

      Yes. Totally on me.

      Same warning applies to this line of discussion.

      Talk about the post.

      It’s a fun post and has gotten notice in KY.

  14. Juan4UK

    July 21, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    Hey! No problem here! 2 UK players fresh off a New Orleans based Championship… y’all will definitely have plenty of #BBN support. I will say this about #BBN faux pas: Avoid the mention of Austin Rivers and AD in the same article (by year 2, you guys will know why and by year 3 you guys will picket to make sure his contract isn’t picked up). Also, never, ever dis Chuck Hayes- much loved for his work ethic and class act. Other than that, good luck to the Hornets and your fans. You all have drafted 2 absolute class act talents in Darius and Anthony.

  15. Money

    July 21, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    If you really want all the UK fans to follow NO, You need to start including D. Miller in your articles since he is from KENTUCKY.

    • KYHERE

      July 21, 2012 at 6:56 pm

      Yeah if you really want to win over UK fans, then you would know that Darius Miller is most of Kentucky’s favorite player. Because he is from KY and has been loyal and unselfish the whole time he was there.

      • Jason Calmes

        July 21, 2012 at 7:44 pm

        Did he not mention a 2/12 fraction?

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