Kentucky Should Adopt the Hornets

Published: July 20, 2012

Our resident comedian lobbies for Kentucky basketball fans to officially adopt the Hornets.

Guess what is still on my DVR? (Please ignore Best Pillow Ever)

You guys, it happened. We got Anthony Davis! Did you forget? Nobody here at Hornets247 has forgotten – Michael McNamara takes naps with a Skynet doll. Joe Gerrity is steady composing poetry and begging us to go see him at open mics. Mason Ginsberg and Jake Madison are going to be a unibrow for Halloween and they spend their afternoons in the 247 offices knitting and sewing. Ryan Schwan named his dog Anthony and his other dog Davis. James Grayson is commuting to New Orleans from Australia for every home game. Jason Calmes is still Jason Calmes (which is weird enough) but man he talks about #23 a lot. Andrew Smith just films everything.

Here’s what I’m thinking. This team is going to be 2/12th’s Kentucky so New Orleans sports fans, it’s time for us to be okay with being okay with a rival SEC school. They do the basketball thing and LSU is mainly about the football thing so this shouldn’t be difficult. What I’m proposing is that we formally ask Kentucky to adopt us as their NBA city. They are the basketball loving parents who are more than happy with their college basketball (child by birth) but maybe it’s time to take on a younger brother in the form of NBA basketball. Why not spice up your life with a little New Orleans?

According to In The N.O. (which you should rate and review on iTunes, if you haven’t already), Anthony Davis is a can’t miss All-Star, a potential Hall of Famer and the most important man of all time. That automatically rates him above Sam Bowie, Antoine Walker and Ron Mercer on the Best-Kentucky-to-NBA list right? After his first blocked shot that lands in the hands of a streaking Austin Rivers he’s going to be ranked above Jamal Mashburn, Tony Delk, Rex Chapman and Jamaal Magloire as the best Wildcat turned Hornet of all time, yeah? And can’t we just pretend he’s already better than Rajon Rondo, John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins? And who is Chuck Hayes?

It’s a 12 hour 747 mile drive from Lexington to New Orleans. The Grizzlies, Hawks, Bulls, Cavs, Bobcats, Pistons, Raptors, Bucks, Wizards, Blue Jackets and Pacers are all better geographically situated to be your team but they don’t have Anthony Davis. I didn’t include the Nets or Knicks because parking would be outrageous and totally not worth your time. I included the Columbus Blue Jackets because I just feel bad for them. Toronto is nearly two hundred miles closer than New Orleans but borders are yucky. However, thave poutine so it’s a draw. But they don’t have Anthony Davis!

Remember how much fun you had on April 2nd 2012? Wanna do that again? I’ve even gone so far as to create this petition. We’ll make commercials for you too. Just give us a list of Lexington Celebrities and we’ll record them saying They’re In! You can even have the Saints (Titans? Blech) too. As a bonus we’ll forget that this ever happened. Kentucky, come on down!

Consider this a formal invitation to adopt New Orleans as your NBA city. We want you, you miss Anthony Davis, let’s be friends. Do you like us? Circle Yes or No in the comments.

Follow Chris Trew on Twitter and check out his New Orleans comedy theater.


  1. Pingback: Comedian lobbies for Kentucky basketball fans to officially adopt the Hornets | Walter's Wildcat World

  2. Pingback: Hornets formally invite Kentucky fans to adopt New Orleans as their NBA city |

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