Trew to the Game: Running Diary of Hornets vs. Warriors

Published: March 21, 2012

Chris Trew couldn’t attend tonight’s game so he opens his laptop and watches from home. This is a running diary of what happened. 

I rarely get to watch Hornets game with the volume turned all the way up and while they are actually happening. So to celebrate, a running diary of me, a sandwich, the television and the Hornets. Enjoy!

6:55 Bob is in the locker room interviewing Jason Smith who needs to speak louder or Bob is going to keep moving uncomfortably closer and closer to him. The Colorado big man seems happy to be getting back in the groove and he’s taking his concussion seriously. He’s also taking his wardrobe seriously as evidenced by a small selection of dress shirts to wear after the game. I see you, Jason.

Bob wrapped the segment by saying, “Monty missed Jason’s spirit and I know the fans missed his play on the floor” and I’d just like to use this platform to say right now that I missed both his play on the floor and his spirit.

7:01 Dell Demps’ stunt double is running that same play he always runs on that strange blue giant iPad looking thing. I guess it’s smart coaching considering the same X is always open, like, every single time I see this part of the game.

7:05 Bob says the Warriors are “kinda” in rebuild mode. Kinda? Well, I’m “kinda” sick of these Cee Lo 7up commercials that tell some false history of his life as a musician. But shout out to the Un-Cola for being a Crescent City Champion. I see you, 7up.

7:11 Making his first ever career start for the Golden State Warriors is Jeremy Tyler who is not Jeremy Lin but I’m secretly hoping he gets released tomorrow and then he signs with the Bulls and becomes the most dominating center of all time.

7:15 It’s time for tip-off and I stand up because THAT’S WHAT YOU DO.

7:20 Bob calls Ariza’s attempt to hit a cutting Ayon a “great idea” and I think great ideas should be an official stat. Who would lead the league in good ideas? I see you, comment section.

7:27 Someone from the Zephyrs is on screen now because RIGHT, it’s ZEPHYRS NIGHT! I regret not being at the Arena more than before because I’m all about crossovers. Marvel/Capcom. WWF/WCW. etc/etc. On another note, my petition to get Joe Gerrity to start Zephyrs247 should be going public next week.

7:30 Kaman scores and Bob says “I smell a bucket chart later”. I’m pretty sure he’s talking about the KFC Bucket Chart but let’s pretend he’s not and let’s all wonder what Bob is really talking about.

7:37 Aminu has tattoos?

7:44 That Jason Smith put back dunk is what makes me want to buy his jersey. Seems like any rebound that spends 1 second too long in the air because it bounces against some knucklehead’s butterfingers ends up in Smith’s possession and then it ends up being 2 points.

7:46 Henry makes a long 2 and Gil says “I guess Iowa worked” and I like the idea that Monty would call Xavier into his office, break the news he’s spending some time in Iowa, fly him to the D-League, fly him back to New Orleans and then be like, “you better hit that long 2 in the beginning of the second quarter, Xavier. Or Iowa was for nothing, you hear me!”

7:48 The Hornets are giving away Rally Towels for the Clippers games. I think a better idea would have been Ric Flair bobbleheads.

7:50 If any Hornet fan is still real excited about Aminu and you don’t know why the analyst-types are over him and you are watching this game tonight then you must feel validated. Dude is hustling, playing defense and not being all weird when he dribbles. For the record, I’m very much pulling for Aminu.

Halftime My pal Chris Carrington got upgraded to a suite tonight. His report:
“All you can eat mac-n-cheese and half of the suites didn’t stand at tipoff”

I guess when you get all full of money you don’t have to take part in tradition but you’re not so full of money that you don’t want all you can eat mac-n-cheese. Or maybe they just put the mac-n-cheese in the suites where they send the upgraded losers.

There’s a segment about the Hornets helping little kids with math and hot damn, Emeka Okafor is hanging in the Mathmobile! If I see that Mathmobile I’m putting on some overalls and a sideways Zephyrs cap and hitching a ride on the education station. While in my child disguise I’ll convince Oak to restructure his contract and retire a Hornet.

I’m surprised at how much of this Kermit Ruffins halftime show CST is showing. Is this totally weird for people on NBA League Pass who don’t live in New Orleans? They must be all, “I don’t see anyone juggling what is this garbage.” Or does NBA League Pass just show a running list of scores with the most generic hiphop beat of all time? The Golden State broadcast is probably just showing those dudes munching on Louisiana Seafood. I see you, Louisiana Seafood.

8:15 Ah, the KFC Bucket Chart! Just as predicted! He’s pretty good.

8:17 Hornets get their first free throws of the night. I was hoping they’d make it the entire game with none. I’m not mad, just pissed off.

8:26 Klay Thompson is 4 points away from a career high but after reading this earlier today I guess that just means the Thunder/Mavs/Bulls/Heat are gonna have a nice outside shooter/slasher in a couple of years.

8:30 Right on cue, Thompson makes a nice pass in the paint to a dunking Lee and Gil says “that’s what makes a player great and Klay Thompson is a great player, in fact he is the greatest player of all time nobody is as great as he is good luck challenging his greatness.” Fine, he didn’t say that exactly.

8:32 Jason Smith dunks the ball into the side of the rim which I guess wasn’t totally his fault since he jumped from 12 feet away. What is awesome about this is how he immediately jumps back up to take the ball out and try to score. Why don’t we all own Jason Smith jerseys yet?

8:48 Grevis loses the ball, Smith chases it, Smith showcases his incredible timing skills and dives perfectly for the ball, Henry kinda sorta bends over. Out of bounds, turnover. Buy his jersey.

8:51 Coming back from a commercial break and there is a kid in the crowd with his face painted like a cat. Can you really go to the Hornets face painting booth and get anything you want? If so, I want Arnold the Usher 4 Mayor across my forehead next time.

8:53 Henry makes up for his earlier laziness by pulling off my favorite in-game dunk, the baseline jump from the side and fly sideways then dunk with both hands dunk. If there is a shorter name for that please don’t tell me.

9:03 Trevor Ariza grabs a rebound right in front of Jarrett Jack’s face and if I were Jarret Jack I’d get all AC Green on him and be like “I’m in triple double territory, dog”.

9:07 Klay Thompson baseline dunk. He’s okay, I guess.

9:08 Jarrett Jack first career triple double! I take full credit for this, as this was my first running diary for Hornets247. Hornets lose but, ya know. We ain’t mad atcha.

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