Tracking the T’Wolves: What’s your Deal, CP3?

Published: March 8, 2012

Mason and Chris wonder why Chris Paul truly seems to have it out for the Hornets, continuing to condemn them even after being dealt to Los Angeles in the form of multiple losses to the Timberwolves.

Playoff Odds as of 3/8/12

If the playoffs began today, the Timberwolves would be the 8th seed in the Western Conference and would face the Thunder in the first round of the playoffs. …Wait, what? That isn’t how this was supposed to work! Granted, many NBA fans (myself included) expected the T’Wolves to be much improved from this season compared to last, but Minnesota making the playoffs was not a worry that really crossed my mind. However, the team is 21-19 through its first 40 games, tied with Houston for 8th best in the West, and currently owns the tie-breaker for that 8th and final playoff spot.

Making things worse is the fact that this doesn’t even seem like a fluke based on strength of schedule; John Hollinger’s playoff odds currently give the T’Wolves a 60.8% chance at postseason play. As a Hornets fan, you can only sit back and wonder at this point; how did this happen? There’s no simple answer to this question, but I’ll give you one possible scapegoat – Christopher Emmanuel Paul, otherwise known as CP3. Confused? Allow me to explain.

After Monday night’s home victory, the Timberwolves are now 3-0 this season against the Clippers this season, with the other two coming in Los Angeles. Without going into the gory details, here’s how each game has gone down:

1) T’Wolves 101, Clippers 98 (Jan 26): CP3 sat this game out with a “hamstring strain”, and his team ended up losing at home by 3. Billups and Williams filled in admirably for CP3 in the scoring column, but neither of them helped their teammates get it going offensively like CP3 can, as Clippers not named Chauncey or Mo made only 17 of 43 attempts. 

2) T’Wolves 109, Clippers 97 (Feb 28): Paul decided to grace us all with his presence in this one, but it didn’t really matter. When Michael Beasley and Derrick Williams score 27 points each by making a combined 20 out of 25 shots, there are obviously greater forces at work.

3) T’Wolves 95, Clippers 94 (Mar 5): With the score 95-94 and CP3 at the free throw line to tie the game with two seconds left, Paul bricks the free throw. T’Wolves win. I can’t write any more about this game without punching something, so I’ll leave it at that.

Feel free to use this post as a platform for expressing your frustration surrounding Paul’s insistance on helping to ruin our T’Wolves first round draft pick. To get things started, Chris Trew decided to do a little venting himself:

While some of us were touched at the Chris Paul “Thank You New Orleans” billboard that lived near the Arena, most of us would have traded the advertisement for the CP3ers sweeping the Tumblewolves this season. I had a friend create a Fantasy Fun Time trade machine to see if the contracts matched and it turns out they are slightly off. That’s okay. We’ll sweeten the deal. We’ll trade you back the billboard, Mr. Paul, and the memory of you waving after the consecutive games with a steal record was broken in exchange for those 3 wins.

That’s how much it means to us right now. We don’t have a lot to be excited about this season but we sure do have a lot to look forward to. And it’s no fun when our crystal ball is proven wrong. When we traded you away last year we pointed to the Minnesota pick and were all like “oooooh” and “ahhhhh” and turned the Timberwolves into the Tumblewolves. And now you’ve turned our crystals into clouds, Chris Paul.

So here’s the next best thing you can do. Shave your head, nab some drive-thru Los Angeles plastic surgery, kidnap Derek Fisher and then become the man you captured. The Lakers still play the Tumblers a few times this season. Make it up to us. You owe it to us. The billboard was a nice touch, Mr. Paul, but right now it feels like it should have said “F*** You New Orleans.”


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