Every Phoenix Casts a Deep Shadow

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Published: March 25, 2009

Yesterday, I wrote about Rasual Butler and his rise from the ashes.  However, it is nearly impossible to spend time mucking around in the soot and dust without emerging soiled.  Today, in accordance with the long tradition of Hornets247 investigations,(Peja, Paul) we will expose the dark secrets of Mr. Butler and his unlikely rise to the starting line-up of the New Orleans Hornets.

Our story begins at the end of last season as the Hornets were preparing for the playoffs.  The day after the regular season ended, the playoff roster was announced, and Rasual Butler’s name was not on it.  As a result he would not even be eligible to play having been left off in favor of players such as Mike James, Ryan Bowen, and Melvin Ely.  When questioned about it soon afterwards, Rasual’s response began to show the state of mind that would lead to future events.

“. . . not even on the roster.  Yes, of course it’s disappointing.  I don’t even want to talk about it.  Damnit!  Koffler told me this would happen.  I worked, I worked, I worked, and I didn’t do none of that stuff like Peja did.  I didn’t give in, like my grandma told me not to, and this is what happens.  It’s not right.  It’s just not right!

After that Rasual got up, walked away, and was rarely seen as the Hornets began their playoff run.  All was quiet until the season exit interview with Byron Scott.  A Hornets employee who wishes to remain anonymous reported that voices were raised during the meeting, and after only a couple minutes, Butler stormed from the office, swearing under his breath.  It was then when Terry Koffler, the Hornet’s trainer, seemed to materialize from a nearby cubicle and put an arm around Butler’s shoulders.  The employee reports that Butler tried to pull away, but seemed unable to break free of Koffler’s grasp.  A low conversation ensued, and in the end Butler followed after Koffler, his shoulders slumped in apparent defeat.  The next time Mr. Butler surfaces again in the public eye is on a hot, dark summer night in Miami.

Officer Smith of the Miami PD was opatrolling outside a Miami Bar called the Naked Flamingo when a wild-eyed young man burst through the drunken crowd and ran towards him a few hours after midnight.  Later, Officer Smith would file a report alleging Mr. Butler had improperly brandished a firearm.  However, another officer, who also wishes to remain anonymous, has a different story to tell.

Officer Smith called me around 4:00 AM and told me he followed the young man back to a nearby church graveyard where he encountered something he hadn’t seen before.  Mr. Butler was waving around a long blood-stained knife while chanting and beating on a drum.  There was blood and chicken feathers and some odd-looking shrunken heads festooning a nearby masoleum covered with gargoyles and strange symbols.  The young man had apparently came into the graveyard to meet a date, and thought one of the heads looked somewhat like her.  Though apparently the head was not hers, Officers Smith tried to stop Mr. Butler from chanting but was unable to get his attention.  After threatening Mr. Butler with arrest, a strange man appeared and interposed.  Officer Smith said he was an odd, eerie man who said his name was Master Terry.  It was weird though.  Officer Smith couldn’t tell me anything else about him and moments later, when I mentioned him again, couldn’t recall who I was even talking about.  In fact, he seemed to remember less and less the longer we talked.  It was a very strange conversation, made stranger by the report he eventually filed.

Officer Smith denies the story entirely, but has refused to comment further.

Once Rasual returned to the Hornets in October, strange things continued to occur.  As the Hornets happily reformed the comraderie they had shared the previous season, Rasual was reportedly distant.  After a pair of pre-season games where it became apparent that Julian Wright had an inside track at minutes over the course of the season, Rasual was seen approaching Terry Koffler after a shooting drill and entering into an angry conversation with him.  That night, the team traveled to Germany and according to one player, Rasual Butler spent most of the trip in the rear of the plane with Terry Koffler, working on an undisclosed “issue”.  That very day, a strange order was made to the Management of the German Hotel they were staying in.  One of the Hornets players requested a wooden doll, a knife, several odd oils and mushrooms, and . . . the napkin from Julian Wright’s dinner.  The Hotel, being five-star, complied, apparently unaware of the power bodily fluids like saliva can give over their owner in certain hands.  That very night, Julian Wright went down with an ankle injury.  A strange coincidence, yes?  Especially when almost the exact same events occured in Houston on November 15th, based on confidential reports from the Teams  Hotel shared with this reporter.  That night? Morris Peterson went down with an injury.

It is very odd that such things happened.  Rasual Butler has had no injuries this season at all, yet players keep going down with him as the beneficiary of his minutes.  In another interesting event I have yet to investigate, ten games ago Julian Wright began to prove himself to Byron Scott and earn the coaches respect.  Soon afterwards, two events were reported to me in close succession by those concerned about the occult in the Hornet’s organization:  Peja Stojakovic was seen arguing with Terry Koffler, Butler was seen talking with the trainer, and suddenly the back injury that had been amazingly cured last season re-occured, taking the Serbian Forward out of the lineup.  Butler’s minutes were once again secure.

So, I ask you, good reader.  Are the Fires of the Phoenix Rasual Butler those of purity and light?  Or do they have the stench of brimstone and hellfire?  I’ll leave it to you to decide . . .


True Story!  Or not.

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