Everybody hates the Hornets

Published: September 25, 2007

NBA media day is next Monday, October 1st. That means handshakes and photographs and smiles and perhaps even some free sandwiches for everyone wearing sleeves. It also means that training camp starts the very next day, which by my calculations would be Tuesday, October 2nd.

Given that, now would be a good time to get all excited about the Hornets and the new season. Methinks we've got one helluva team here, and the expectations should be high. Sure, we're always an injury or two away from mediocrity, but let's not worry about bad backs and swollen elbows and twisted ankles and fractured eye sockets and broken ribs and bruised toes unless they happen.

So, who's with me? Let's all go get wasted and tell everyone on the way home that the Shornets are sho musch besher dan all dudder, hic, teamsh in dLeaguesh.

But no, wait. Let's not get too happy here. We are Hornets fans after all, and everyone knows that we Hornets fans ain't allowed get too happy. That's why there's people like ESPN's Marc Stein and Brian McKitish, who are all like "The Hornets? My left nut has a better chance of making the Playoffs!"

Well, perhaps I exaggerate just a fraction, but these two articles from those two chaps don't exactly speak glowingly of the Hornets. We'll go with Stein first, since he has the same initials as Mena Suvari who I saw in a magazine this morning (she's not that hot these days). Stein says the Hornets had the eighth-best offseason out West

It was only a year ago that we were raving about the Greatest Hornets Summer Ever and owner George Shinn's uncharacteristic spending spree. This summer, sadly, looked and sounded like a lot of the quiet summers that proceeded the 2006 offseason.The Hornets simply didn't do much in advance of their full-time return to New Orleans.

Yes Marc, the Hornets spending this summer did indeed seem tame compared to last, but see unfortunately Georgie's money tree caught fire at his June barbeque and we had to leave Rashard Lewis and Gerald Wallace walk.


Come on, man, you can't spend big every summer. I think we did pretty damn good just landing Mo-Pete. Oh, and Byron says Julian Wright is the next Magic Johns… actually, nevermind that last bit.

As for Mr. McKitish, he went and ranked the NBA's small forwards and done left Peja Stojakovic out of the top 20…

Peja is supposedly healthy, but he'll move up my rankings only after I get to see him on the court and in some real game-speed action. I don't normally like to mess with major back injuries, and I won't be drafting Peja unless I see him looking like his pre-surgery self in the preseason.

Ok, I can live with that reasoning, but Corey Maggette ranked higher than Stojakovic? Danny Granger? Stephen Frickin' Jackson? None of those guys even have beards! And you're putting Mike Miller and Rudy Gay ahead of Peja, too? Dude, they played for the Grizzlies last season. The Grizzlies! They won like minus 14 games or something. Peja only played 13 games and he probably had more wins than those two guys.

But it's cool, I see what you're doing. Someone's gotta keep us Hornets fans grounded. Can't be getting too excited about the season when you only have one of the top 3 point guards in the League, an All-Star worthy big-man, a very interesting power forward, an All-World shooter with something to prove, a legitimate 2-guard on both sides of the ball, a promising rook, and a bench Dell Curry would be proud of.


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