I've been trying real hard lately to be nicer to people. Really, I have. I've even started to feel bad for calling Ron Boone a dumbass for not giving Chris Paul his ROY vote last year. (And that's not just because Deron Williams had a superior sophomore season).

But then somebody like Berry Tramel comes along and just pulls shit out of thin air. I'm back to square one.

Chris Paul a Sonic? Because CP is a spokesman for Chesapeake and Chesapeake's chairman is involved with the OKC group that purchased the Sonics? Right. Concrete fucking evidence, Berry. Congrats, my man.

I also heard that Paul could end up signing with the Knicks, because he just adores tall buildings. Or how about the Raptors, so he can write his name in the snow? Everybody loves to do that, right? Actually, no, wait. I got it! He's going to Milwaukee. Wisconsin is like the bowling capital of America, and Chris just loves him some bowling! Plus, he saw a Demi Moore movie once, and she's married to that Ashton Kutcher dude who was in That 70's Show, which was set in…

WISCONSIN, BABY!

Now that's some water-tight research. You think Tramel spent as much time coming up with his theory as I just did with mine? Methinks not. I win.