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Jannero Pargo is a possessive chucker

Published: August 8, 2006

These weekends are killing me. The Hornets inked back-up point guard Jannero Pargo last Thursday, but I've been unconscious for the past four days so it's news to me.

Hi, I'm Jannero Pargo.

So who the hell is Jannero Pargo? Well, according to his MySpace fan club, he's "not only best player on the chicago bulls, but the whole NBA."

The best player on the whole NBA? Sweet. Between Tyson Chandler being an All-Star and Pargo being the best player in the League, next season should be a breeze.

What else do we know about Jannero?

His profile tells us that his "most important possessions are his friends." Yes, he possesses his friends. They don't just call around and hang out with Jannero every now and then, no, he keeps them in little jars on a shelf in his bedroom.

His so-called official site is so unbelievably crap that I'm not even going to link to it. Or maybe I should, just in case some of you decide to go looking for it yourselves, and then twenty minutes later you find it and realize that it was a complete waste of twenty minutes of your life, and you haven't wasted time like that since you watched the entire four hours of Gone With The Wind, which isn't so much a love story as it is the story of a schmuck who takes twenty years or so to realize that the woman he has spent his entire life chasing is a total dickhead. You would think that there would be some satisfaction in watching him tell her to shove it at the end, but no, none at all. So don't ever watch that movie and don't ever visit the official website of Jannero Pargo.

Jannero also danced a slow dance with Kobe Bryant this one time

But what about Jannero the basketball player? Can he help the Hornets next season?

I have no idea, so I asked the fantastic Matt Bernhardt over at Blog a Bull if the newest Hornet is a second-string or third-string point guard. By the wonders of e-mail, Matt shot back… 

I'd say third string. When you get to the end of NBA benches like Pargo's been his whole career, it's pretty much because he has one specialty. In his case it's shooting. If he's open, and it's a catch/shoot scenario, he's pretty good, albeit streaky.

But he is a midget, and gets into real trouble when he tries to create. Sure he can be an emergency point, but it's not his strong suit. What he was used for in Bulls games was when there was absolutely nothing happening offensively, Skiles would put in Pargo and let him just start bombing. Sometimes it worked, like in '05 playoff game where he helped bring the Bulls back from a huge deficit against Washington. But overall it's not someone you can count on to be a rotation player, just a nice emergency chucker who can get hot at points. 

A nice emergency chucker? Works for me.

(By the way, are all over this Jannero Pargo thing with… nothing. At all. I don't get it either.) 

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