Tis the season for the trade deadline to dominate all basketball talk. Since it appears the Pelicans are gonna be quiet this time around, let’s have some fun.

Trade #1: 10,000 pounds of Jambalaya  + Brian Roberts to the Atlanta Hawks for Sir Foster

The real MVP of All-Star Weekend was the organ accompanying the action. Sir Foster is the arena organist for the Atlanta Hawks, who should be selling out every game based on his skills behind the keys alone. Here’s a quick clip of a Hawks game with the organ in the background. Watch this and pretend like it’s happening in New Orleans, all the time, every game. We stand before the first bucket is scored but with Sir Foster we’d probably stay there until the last one is scored as well.

Also Atlanta could use some culture so here’s 10,000 pounds of jambalaya.

Trade #2: 2018 1st Round draft pick to the NBA for the rights to 2018 All-Star Weekend
We can all agree that New Orleans is the ideal host city for an event like this. We can also (maybe) agree that in 2018 the Pelicans will be picking dead last in the NBA Draft. This is an easy switch. Let’s have 2018 be the year we dominate everything (Saints win the Superbowl in the Superdome, Pelicans first NBA Championship, All-Star Weekend is back, the Zephyrs have the first ever undefeated minor league season in the history of baseball) all in the name of the big tricentennial celebration for the city of New Orleans.

The NBA can give the first round pick to any city that is complaining about not getting an All-Star Weekend. So, probably Chicago.

Trade #3: (3 Team Deal) The exclusive rights to talk about Pierre Jackson to Pierre Jackson; Pierre Jackson to Twitter; Twitter amnesties rights to talk about Pierre Jackson
It’s confusing, I know. But trust us – Pierre Jackson won’t be called up to the Pelicans this season. How many ways will we have to explain it? This one is probably the most confusing way, but we’re hoping it sticks.

Chris Trew is a comedian based out of New Orleans. Like Trew2theGame on Facebook here. Look for his new weekly podcast on Bourbon Street Shots starting next week.

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